I am determined to hold back the racing mind, control it, focus it on the moment. I woke up this morning, tired, emotionally hungover, but determined not to wallow in the self pity and the illusions of my own thoughts. It was dark at 6:15 when I loaded my bike on to the back of my little orange crush, I smoked a cigarette and drank a cup of coffee while I let my mind debate the issue, should I go or should I stay! I ended the internal debate with a calm and thoughtfull decision, go, be free, ride and enjoy the cold, the pain, the effort to see something beautiful and free. I got to the refuge at 6:30, slowly mounted my bike and started the 8 mile loop, it is lighter now, the orange glow of the rising sun is on the horizon to the east, slowly I peddle, annoyed at the disturbing sound my tires make on the gravel road, disturbing the peace of the quite and still morning, I keep my mind focused on the moment, soaking in the surroundings, gently pushing back any thoughts of the future or the past, but lovingly enjoying each moment, each new sight, as I ride into the east, the sun slowly but suprisingly quick at the same time breaks through the veil of the horizon and rises to its full glory. I remember a line a friend once told me as I witness this timeless and consistent beauty, no matter how bad you think things are today or right now, the sun will still rise tomorow, I am thankful for this morning, I am thankful for this moment to share these thoughts with those unfortunate enough to take the time to read this. As I ride along going west now with sun on my back warming my neck and casuing a me to sweat even though I am cold, I realize that this ride is going to be worth every bit of the challenge of the approaching hills. As I ride, I come across a small group of stunted little white tail deer, they do not know what to make of me so they continue to trot ahead, stop and look back, once they had enough of this I was blessed with the site of them bounding effortlessly over the marsh and into the woods, my path now is taking me uphill, out of the salt marsh and into the woods, and fields, I am astounded by the site I see, a herd or group of white tail larger then I have every seen in my life, I feel as though I am not in South Jersey, but on some african plain, there must have been 30- 40 deer in an overgrown rough field to my left, some where watching me as I peddled up a slight hill, and others where oblivious to my intrusion, a small group of these sometimes silly creatures decide they have seen enough and race towards the marsh and some scrub pine to my right, their path takes them right at me and they leap across the road not 10 feet in front of me, what a site, these excited and energetic young deer leaping and racing towards me and then right in front of me as I slowly ascend the hill. I pick up my pace as I sense the end of the trail, and for the first time look at my watch and realize that all these beautiful moments which seemd to last for hours happend in a little over an hour, my ride is over, the precious moments are gone into the past, but are not forgotten for I have recored a very inadequate rendering of the beauty of this morning here for all to see. Thank you for taking the time to read this and God bless each of you. The moment.
Tags: mindfulness, Moments, Sunrise
